Life changes incredibly when you start living with chronic pain, and it often is a very lonely journey.
Today’s conversation is about pain management, but in a roundabout way.
Let me explain.
I will do my absolute best to keep this post short enough so that it can be read in under 10 minutes and easily digested; yet, the chosen topic requires us to touch on both holistic – modern medicine calls it “psycho-social” model of healing, as well as the sciency subject of brain chemistry.
We’ll start with a story:
Last Thursday one of my private clients said this to me:
“ I was sick and tired of trying to explain how I feel.
I think my family got tired of hearing it.
So I just stopped.
Now, whenever anyone asks me how I feel, I smile, and say “Fine.”
But I am not fine; I am FAR, FAR, FAR away from fine.
It feels so lonely to be going through this on my own. I have to pretend that I am strong and capable – even with my loved ones! – when in fact I am crumbling on the inside.”
Can you relate?
I totally could.
Whenever I have these kinds of conversations with my clients I could hardly hold back the tears – I have walked in those pain-full shoes for so many years, I know exactly how it feels to go through what she is going through.
But what if you haven’t?
What if you haven’t had this kind of experience filed away in your life-journey library?
Would you then be able to not only understand intellectually, but feel viscerally what personal hell your friend, relative, loved on is going through, and support them through the thick and the thin – and unconditionally so?
Most likely not.
[clickToTweet tweet=”If you don’t have an internal reference point for your friend’s experience, how could you relate?” quote=”If you don’t have an internal reference point for your friend’s experience, how could you relate?” theme=”style1″]
I believe this is an important fork in the road for many of us who live with personal pain – whether it is physical, or emotional.
You can get stuck at the “STOP” sign: this is when you internalize the pain and stop trying to connect with others, which leads to loneliness, isolation and, sadly, more pain.
The other side of this fork holds a promise: this is when you begin to understand that your closest ones – family and friends – might not be the best support system for you, and then consciously choose to connect with others who are able to understand, relate to, and support you in the ways that you need.
[clickToTweet tweet=”Pain fades when you don’t need to pretend about how you feel.” quote=”Pain fades when you don’t need to pretend about how you feel.” theme=”style1″]
Pain fades away when you are heard, understood, accepted just the way you are right now, and supported unconditionally.
And now the sciency bit: these two roads – surprise! – have a different brain chemistry.
Whenever we connect with others on a deeper level – when we feel heard, understood and accepted –
[clickToTweet tweet=”when we are immersed in the community of like-minded individuals our brain produces more endorphins” quote=”when we are immersed in the community of like-minded individuals our brain produces more endorphins.” theme=”style1″]
Endorphins are natural pain reducing substances.
This is part of the magic of Pain Care Yoga classes.
The pain FADES AWAY.
